oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
