Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
