I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize