worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
