You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
