tell your sister to shave her snatch
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
