life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
