new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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