I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
