We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
