she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
