He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
