brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
