I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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