And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
