In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
