is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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