Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
