Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
