i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
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I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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