All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You can't special order awesome
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize