Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
