hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
