i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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