wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
