great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
