"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
