I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
