Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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