it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
