i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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