Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
