ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
