I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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