he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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