A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
