i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
