You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
