dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
