do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
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How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
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I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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