you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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