"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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