It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
