are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
