his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
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Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
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he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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