you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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