the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
