fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
