i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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