Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
