Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
