come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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