new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize