By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
