you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
