I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We got so high we made milksteak
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Randomize
