at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
