oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
