I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
