He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
