all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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