I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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