he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
